7 Things My Car Incident Taught Me
I call it an “incident” because I feel like “accident” is a little too intense to describe what happened. The car spun out of control on Saturday night as I drove home from a wedding, and I walked away without a scratch. I cried for 24 hours on and off, but I am about 85% fully recovered (mentally) now. So let’s just call it an “incident.”
While the car was bugging out and spinning out of control, my life flashed before my eyes. I didn’t know what I was spinning into. I had no idea if other cars were about to make that same wicked turn and hit me. I didn’t know if I was driving onto a bridge. It all happened so fast and I could have died that night. My time here on earth is so precious. I need to spend that time wisely.
The last time I went to church was 10/3/21. It’s been 1 whole month. I try to make up for it by doing a nightly devotion with Roody and listening to praise & worship for hours on end, but nothing can replace the community that comes with stepping foot inside a church. I need to make changes to my life and business structure that will allow me to attend at least 3 full church serves every month. AT LEAST. God has been way too faithful and way to awesome for me to do Him like this. Somethings have got to change.
Roody doesn’t know all of our account passwords. He doesn’t know how I run Photography by LarJ. My CRM that keeps all my tasks in order—he has no clue how to read the Pipeline and get through each Workflow. For the sake of my clients, I need to have certain things in place in case of the worst case scenario. Even it were just a hospitalization, I need to create some kind of something that would let anyone figure out what needs to happen next, who to reach out to, and how to send the deliverables. I can no longer be a one-woman show.
The morning after the incident, I woke up and Jaden burst into the room like it was a totally normal day. After I hugged him, I cried. My boys need more of me. They need their mother. They need my love, and they need my presence. Roody is one of the best fathers who ever lived, but he could never replace me. I need to be more present with them and I need to be more careful so that they don’t lose me prematurely.
I’ve never been one to hide anything. If I’m happy, everyone will know. If I’m going through my Luteal Phase and I want to fight and cry and scream, everyone will know. I have been an expressive person since I could read and write. I immediately shared what happened on Facebook and Instagram. The number of responses and messages I received was so overwhelming. People care about me more than I think, and I have some of the most encouraging followers I could ever ask for. I received 100+ messages and responded to all of them, but these 3 ladies in particular had messages that really stood out me. Thank you so much!
After sharing my story that night, I gave myself permission to step away from social media for a little bit just so that I could recuperate mentally. Thoughts kept popping into my head all night and the day following the incident. We had a session at the studio on Sunday evening and I cried in the car on the way there. It’s ok to cry, and don’t make anyone let you feel badly for crying. BUT at some point, it must stop. I allowed myself to feel sad for about 24 hours, then work distracted me and it was almost as if I had gone back to normal. Find something that will take your mind off things, talk things through with someone who doesn’t mind just being a listening ear, and allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling. You won’t always feel like this. It’s going to be ok.
Mommy has been calling me and waking me up out of my sleep every morning since Monday. It’s annoying, but she be spittin. There’s nothing like some good ol’ motherly wisdom. Don’t tell her I said that.
My car is very convenient, but it’s old. I refuse to drive it until the tires and headlights get changed. I couldn’t see the lines on the highway because of how dim my headlights are. It was also dark and raining. By the time I realized the white lines were curving and that there were yellow “sharp turn” signs ahead, it was too late, and I turned the wheel too fast. The rain and the tires were not good friends, and I could have lost my life. I need a new car. Like, a brand new one. Now I have an excuse to hustle harder so I can save up enough cash to put a payment down on a car.
I’m so grateful to be alive. You have no idea. Thank You, Jesus.
